Its 19th of May, 8am, sleepless and awake

The previous post was written in my Iphone on the day of the incident... And now... A week has past...
I am still bothered over how he treated me after the incident for a week... Cant stop my tears whenever i tried to sleep or see his ignorance and arrogant... despite how hard i really forced myself not to tear but i simply cant stop my heart from aching.. Why am i aching day after day???  <- Probably because i know im heading no where once again...
I did not brought the issue up after that day i cried for a whole damn day... I always want or hope that he can solve the problem in me as i know there's no way i can do it myself... But Now i realised... THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN ~~~

Just 2 weeks we got back together and things got back to the same when his wife started to call... I realised that no matter how we tried to change... its just never enough... He will hold against me for the little effort he puts in and ended up we are still distant apart... I cannot blame him neither am i writing this to put all the fault on him... I just want to remember at this moment now what stage we are in...

Im being bothered for days due to our situation and not forgetting what had happened... I strongly antiscipated that he will hurt me again~ And i will have to buried it down again~ I cant continue this path anymore when i keep seeing myself being treated this way and nothing can ever be resolved for both of us...  Im disappointed in myself for cant forgetting and letting the unhappiness inside go away... But i know one day i will... the day we are strangers again..
PS: Dont Cry Over Someone that Wont Cry Over You!

Reminiscing...

Its amazing that we can fall in love in an instant and ended up a distant apart...
We weren't always like this... though i cant remember when it wasn't like this...
He used to be my guidance angel who will keep me safe and protected from hurt/harm... Unbelivable... Incredibly special... the guy i thought could never exist... But as time run past... from one stage of the relationship to the next, It has taken us to how we are now.............................................................


Like most people do... We started off like strangers, the 1st stage of us : Meeting

Followed by : The Chase
This was the best part... All i want to do was to hang out with him... The only person i want to talk to, was him... He was the number 1 priority... And everytime i saw him -> Butterflies...
He's everything was perfect that i thought in a guy...

As soon as we felt right, we started our relationship taking us to the 3rd stage : Honeymoon
It was the time when we could finally fully express our affections to each other and to do all the things as a couple...it was like a dream come true to me...The guy i wanted to be with so badly was finally mine...
We used to cuddled every night... Watch movie often as theres no place to go...  etc... intimacy almost every single day... Theres even one day we did twice or thrice...

And we ended up like most couple... stage 4 : Comfortable

to be continue...