Its has been quite some time i blog again... Life has been pretty hectic for me to managing my work and my love... Its really tiring to be in so deeply love with some1 that don't even understand my feeling and the real me... @the start i really expect myself to be stronger than how i used to be in the past relationship. Im trying hard to learn from my mistakes of falling or should i put it in a way that i shouldn't care so much for someone. i have been devoting all my time for him .... I do know that he has been spending most of his time with me for the pats few weeks thou. He bought me to the Raffles Town Club to stay in the most amazing jacuzzi room that i have not been experiencing in my life. Sometimes he do remind me of how Ash treat me at the very start.... Its so super 'Darling' to me.... However, as time went pass for the couple weeks... Im so freaked out to realize that i cant control my love for him ... I start to get jealous for the smallest incident that occur... Its so frightening thou... Its like im not acting my usual self at all... Im always trying not to be in love till this extent with any guy anymore after my past relationship. I wanna be a generous, understanding girlfriend. I wanna let hime play with girls happily as long as he want. I wanna show his friends around him how wonderful i am. But its all turn out to be wrong.... I cant control my emotional at times. God please enlighten me with more generosity and forgiveness. I swear to u once again i want to forget everything that upset me and be back to who i am at first like i promise him. I shouldnt pick any fights with him anymore ... Whats the farking point of telling him how i really feel and telling him what that i would mind of him. The answers are just that im too sensitive, unreasonable , not understanding and enven ridiculous. He will never understand how the smallest things or actions he did would makes my heart uneasy or hurt. So Now i proclaim to myself that i would try to get back to what i should do at the very start and concentrate on earning for myself than to depend on hm anymore. I gain nothing but heart breaks and disappointment. HAiz.... Tiring... Signing off pretty soon.... Post again yea...

Nitesz + Morning....

Regards