Im glad that i went to church on Christmas Day and Today. Its been quite some time i have been attending the masses... Thou its pretty exhuasting to rush to church after a long drinking session for the whole nite, i felt great being with God for the short period of sessions. The priest today said that we should forgive one another like how God would forgive us... This statement keeps me pondering about it... I felt that its pretty tough to forgive on a certain person that would leave me as and when.... I asked God to enlighten me the right path to happiness. Im so afraid to be so deeply in love with him that at times i try to ignor the feelings. Is this the right way? How do i have to do? The fact is that im just nobody. How can he loved his wife 5 years ago so much till the extent of getting married, buying apartment for her, taking care of her expenses, doting on her wants...... Yet... He can claim that they are over now and he is ready to sign the paper with her. Do this guy deserves me to love him so much? Frightening... One day i may be as hurt as his wife would be... And of thats really happen in the future.... Is it my retribution? But im not the one the cause as he claimed that he and his wife are on rocky terms that may lead to this path already far before i met him.... Am i thinking too far ahead? Or should  just take it lightly and be happy with what i have now at the moment and leave a path for myself... ? Lord... Please tell me what i should do ? Im a little tired and scared to be in love now... especially with him.... and i did try to control... *puzzled*

Anywhere.... Merry Christmas to me & my loved ones....