It's my sweet 22nd birthday and the best thing ever is to celebrate with my beloved Baby Darling on a yacht...

I'm so delightful...

Tuesday Unhappy & Tiring day...

Today I swallowed the things that he said to me which pains my heart like I'm stupid, slow, in my own world, etc... Which I can't recall... Sometimes I think I tend to forget wad he said to me or is it my mind that choose nt to rem wad he said as I'm forcing myself to control and don't get affected by him so often? I really don't want to get myself affected emotionally... But he seems to be provoking me... Right now... I'm lying on bed boring and lonely and feeling so empty inside... I'm feeling so disappointed with him. Yet I know I can't complain abt him as it makes me like a fool! I rather go out than to be left alone on this quiet cozy room having stupid wild thoughts! But I'm alittle reluctant to do so? Y? Hoping again? Hoping that we will reconcile? Wads the point? There will only be more scar inside u cos u will end up later again to make up with him. I can't stop my time for him yet he is moving! I should find my own path and try not to rely on his presence!            
He told me that either I dun have a freedom to speech or I will deserve the treatment he gave. He said that I shouldn't ask him what's he looking all else he will ignor me and neglect my feelings followed by treating me like an invisible party roaming around in his home.

Monday Morning Sad

Ytd I went crazy over the msg that his wife sent to him "Can I meet u up?" . Wad e hell is that! Shes such a hypocrite! Tot she said that she can't be friend with Alvin? Wad a bitch! But I was mad at Alvin as well... It's so obvious that she's trying to be friend with my bf or even trying to flirt with him maybe she's too lonely. Ha! This has been happening ample times and he actually did call her behind my back couple of times! I already lost my faith in him that's y I got so worked up ytd crying like hell! And in the end Alvin still can ignored me and called her to tell her that I'm crying like hell and he is having a hard time. <- hard time? He fucking heck care my feelings all the time! And I will always ended up saying sorry and trying to make up with him instead! So Christina can u wake up from ur stupid thinking that there's a future with him! Stop fucking crying and complaining how bad he treats u! U will end up like a fool and crazy woman! Treat him the same as he treat u! U brought this upon urself! U are a such a loser as u can't stand up for urself u can't make the decision to leave him !!! Everytime ended up the same pathetic yet crazy person! Stop hoping there's a way to work out in this relationship as there's too many scar in u and it can NEVER be GONE!  Remember that U R JUST A GIRLFRIEND TO HIM and HE CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!